A diagnosis for every fangirl of bands.

Polybandmemberamorousis- the incurable disease that ails a fangirl when she finds herself loving more than one band member.

Symptoms:

Multiplied episodes of fangirling and fantasizing about more than one band member that will lead to delusions, hallucinations, paranoia.

Intensified rivalry between the fangirl’s favorite band in which the different band members are in and they wage war inside her heart and mind, making it immensely difficult for her to span her focus and attention to anything else.

Extreme indecisiveness over whom the fangirl wants to be impregnated from.

If the above symptom is much too severe, then the fangirl’s reproductive organs will fail her and she will not bear the children of said band member[s], making it less complicated and stressful for her to not be concerned which band member is the father of her unborn children.

Language becomes terribly incoherent from the constant ASDFGHJKLgasdfgfsagydftdfasvcsadvhcgvsdaghctw or language becomes limited to phrases such as “I can’t even, my heart is split down and divided so many times because band members. So many band members, only one pair of ovaries that currently are failing me. Dying. Flailing. My feels, too many feels at the same time for different band members. OMFG WHY I’M SUCH A BAND WHORE. Gasp, what is my life.”

Sexual frustration increases 10x

The constant urge to plan the death of any girl who band members talk to, laugh with, brush arms with, make eye contact with, stand beside with, breathe beside with, take pictures with, Tweet with, even if they’re related to the band members

Monetary issues as there is so much band merch and clothing lines from the band members

Boys that want fangirl for everything she is will be forever waiting for her but she pushes him away in denial because he is not one of the many band members she loves.

Internal death by too much sexiness of multiple band members.

12 notes | 10 months ago

Lost Mechanical Angel

A diagnosis for every fangirl of bands.

12 notes